Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
