kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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