I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
