Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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