he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize