I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
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It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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