We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
