the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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