I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
