Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
