I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
