Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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