The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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