She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize