Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
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Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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