Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
