hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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