He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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