That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
