He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
3pm strippers are depressing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
