Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
