Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
