I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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