So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
