She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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