Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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