Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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