just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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