She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
