We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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