you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
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I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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