Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
