my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
