i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
