I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
