He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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