If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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