C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
