I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
