dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize