Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
