i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
