I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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