I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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