Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
