And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
