i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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