can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
