he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize