So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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