he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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