Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
