I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
