Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
