I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
