is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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