I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
